Unspoken Words

This post is based on a pondering I had many months ago, recently at a sleepover these thoughts were brought back again. My apologies to the friends that have heard this story before. I'm not writing this for sympathy or to complain. I am writing it because this was an event in my life that caused me to reflect and I hope that by sharing it with you, it may cause you to reflect and ponder also.  

Last April a friend of mine died. Her name was Kiya, and I had known her for a very long time. Eight years ago we moved town, and we had a letter writing friendship. She was a most beautiful young woman who was fourteen when she passed away. Kiya loved the Lord and I have fond memories of her willingness to be a servant in many aspects. She died riding a motorbike.

Kiya and I
2005

After she died I morned. One thing that particularly hurt me was the many unspoken words. Had I ever told her how special she was to me? Did I say her servanthood inspired me? The answer was probably no, and that was hard.

This caused me to reflect. What if any of my other friends suddenly passed away? What havn't I said to my other friends and members of my family. Would those unspoken words haunt me too? I prayed that God would help me learn to speak those everyday unspoken words, however awkward it may be.

I did, to some small degree. I made a bigger effort to write deeper thoughts, and more loving words in my family's birthday cards. I tried to tell my friends how much I appreciate their friendship, however I found words and harder to speak then write.

Much later I was at a friends sleepover. I was (for some reason) re-telling this story. It then hit me that most of those precious girls whom I call friends, have never heard me tell them what they mean to me.

I am still trying to learn how to communicate those unspoken words, because it is hard. We live in a culture that says it's ok to 'tease' your friends, laugh at them, subtly bring them down. I have been guilty of this just as much as anyone. I'm defiantly no saint or 'holier-then-thou' girl.

The reward of speaking the unspoken words is very special, it's a deepening of a friendship.